On being me...

Have you ever been held to an impossible standard?  Welcome to my childhood.  Please don't misunderstand.  I wasn't a victim.  I was a brat.  The fact that I was a brat primarily because I thought I was a victim is no longer of any consequence.  What matters now is that I have a new standard to hold myself to.  I'm a slow learner.  I only began figuring this out when I was in my fifties.

The adults in my life thought I was supposed to be my sister.  She was the good child.  She got good grades, always said the right thing, was beautiful--you know the type.  Hard to live up to.  I don't think I had even started school before I learned not to compete.  The way I saw it, there were two choices;  I could admit that I wasn't smart enough to be like her, or I could act like I didn't want to be like her.  I chose the latter.  Sort of.

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