Have you ever been held to an impossible standard? Welcome to my childhood. Please don't misunderstand. I wasn't a victim. I was a brat. The fact that I was a brat primarily because I thought I was a victim is no longer of any consequence. What matters now is that I have a new standard to hold myself to. I'm a slow learner. I only began figuring this out when I was in my fifties.
The adults in my life thought I was supposed to be my sister. She was the good child. She got good grades, always said the right thing, was beautiful--you know the type. Hard to live up to. I don't think I had even started school before I learned not to compete. The way I saw it, there were two choices; I could admit that I wasn't smart enough to be like her, or I could act like I didn't want to be like her. I chose the latter. Sort of.
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